Fatastic Foot-long Burger

When will the burger wars stop?  America’s waistlines can’t take it anymore.  The newest addition to the king-size burger comes from Hardee’s.  They have released their 12-inch burger on a couple of  test markets in the U.S., one of which happens to be right here in Indiana.

The 12-inch cheeseburger packs a punch at 850 calories and 20 grams of saturated fat, which is a suggested limit of saturated fat for someone trying to reduce their cholesterol levels. 

I was shocked to hear that it was only 850 calories, it looks much more extreme.  However, the BK Triple Whopper trumps the 12-inch burger with 1200 calories.  Even sandwiches at Panera Bread contain 700-900 calories, but the newest burgers seem to get the most attention when it comes to extreme sandwiches.  Although, Panera Bread tries to maintain a “healthy” persona, while Hardee’s loves spitting in “healthy’s” face. 

I am sure Indiana is eating the foot-long burger up and it will be unleashed on the rest of America very soon.  I predict a triple 12-inch burger in the near future.  Any gamblers out there?

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My 1st Roller Derby Anniversary

I can’t believe it, it’s been a year since I tried-out and became a Naptown Roller Girl!  What an unbelievable experience.  And, for those of you wondering, a roller derby year is the same as a regular calendar year, but with more bruises. 

In July of 2009, I entered roller derby workshops.  I was 33 years old and hadn’t been on quad skates since the Roller Dome parties in grade school….you do the math.  I owned no skates.  I purchased used skates from craigslist….I think they cost me $25.  Needless to say, I was pretty awful the first day….and for many days after, for that matter.  I hadn’t skated in years and had the slowest wheels known to man, even slower than Sugars.  I remember being so tired from working so hard.  I would like to add that I was training for a marathon then, so I was in pretty good shape.  My friend, who eventually became known as Freddie Cougar, and I rented skates; they were about mid-calf and the old school roller rink kind…still very slow.  Thankfully, Ana Slays Ya let me borrow her old pair for the next month.

Try-outs were August 2, and by some miracle, I made it despite my fall at the jammer line before I started a drill.  I think they took me because I pushed myself, never gave up, got up quickly after a fall, and they were somehow able to see some potential in this skate-challenged girl.  I was so happy when I got the email from Sin Lizzie telling me I had made it…WOW….I was ecstatic to be referred to as “fresh meat.” 

And, then off to practice with the vets….very intimidating, to say the least, especially when you are a complete train wreck of a skater like my past Eve.  But, they got used to us newbs and our cuteness grew on them.   

Above is a picture of me, in red, in my very first bout in December 2009 (photo by Marc Lebryk), I didn’t skate very much, but it was awesome nonetheless.  Now, I was finally Eve Elle, The Original Bad Girl. 

I have learned a lot in this first year.  Sure, I learned tons about skating, falling, hitting, blocking, etc, but, more importantly, I learned some things about myself, roller derby, and other valuable life lessons:

• Old dogs really can learn new tricks….and keep learning!
• Practice and perseverance can overcome any obstacles.
• Roller derby is more about smarts, and heart, than muscle.
• Being fierce has nothing to do with size.
• Talent without effort is a waste.
• Perfection is not attainable, but improvement is limitless.  
• What happens on the track; stays on the track.

These things that I have learned are priceless, but the most amazing thing about this past year of roller derby is the people that I have met and the friends that I will have for a lifetime.  You all have helped me grow, not only as a skater, but as a person.  I appreciate each and every one of you.  Roll on!

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Everything’s Large at the Movies

So, my hubbie and I went to see Inception this weekend, which was great, by the way.  I highly recommend it.  But, I digress.  We went to see this movie on one of the hottest and most humid days of the summer.  We, like many others, thought it would be a great idea to spend the afternoon in a cold, dark movie theater.

If you’ve ever gone to a matinee on the south side of Indy, you completely understand the reason that Indiana is one of the fattest states in the nation.  I thoroughly enjoy the art of observation, and did not only notice the large size of the people in attendance, but also the ridiculously large size of the food and everything else, for that matter.

If you haven’t been to see a movie in the theaters lately, let me bring out the evidence that proves that pretty much everything is large!

Evidence #1: Large ticket price for 2 adults to a matinee showing of a movie on the Imax.  $32 total….yowzer!

Evidence #2: Hubbie and I decided to share a drink and a bottled water.  I asked for a medium-sized drink, this seems reasonable to me, should be about 20 oz….wrong! What comes out is what I think might be a 32 oz, but I am not positive as it is difficult to hold with 1 hand, which in my book, constitutes a Large drink.  And, the kind teenager behind the counter asked if I would like to make it an actual “large” for 25 cents more.  Hmm, let me think, I am not sure that I brought enough gear to carry a keg of soda and I am pretty sure that you offer free refills?  No?  Oh, and did I mention the $4.25 price rape for a 32 oz drink?

Evidence #3: Most patrons at this particular matinee were over a BMI (body mass index) of at least 40.  I am not saying that you can’t be healthy if you are overweight.  There are many that I know that aren’t very healthy and they are underweight or average size.  Just sayin’ that most of the customers were large by most people’s standards.

Evidence #4: A woman, and this is independent of her size, ordered a bucket of popcorn. For herself.  You may wonder how I might know that?  Well, everyone else in her party had their very own popcorn, although not a bucket.

Evidence #5: Did you know that you get to put your own butter on your popcorn now?  Craziness…it comes out of a pump which I imagine has a hose connecting to a vat of liquefied fake-butter, which will from now on be referred to as “futter.”   The woman with the bucket of popcorn decided that she needed more futter on her popcorn, like there isn’t enough in the plain popcorn that is popped in flavored oil.  She put her bucket-o-corn under the futter dispenser and showered her popcorn with futter.  Finally, after a minute, she stopped.  Wait, she just need to shake it up, back for more futter.  WOW!   Wants some popcorn with your futter?  Gag!

Evidence #6: Finally to the movie, and hopefully away from the food for giants to the Imax theater….largest screen evah, in Indiana anyway.

Evidence #7: And, the large-ness doesn’t stop there.  The seats are meant for kings, and big kings at that.  And, despite the large seats, the arms of the seats can flip up so you can  have even more room.  I saw many of Evidence #3 have to use this option.

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